Imposter Syndrome: Where Confidence Goes to Die
Do you ever feel like at any given moment you are going to be found out? Like you have somehow managed to portray an image of yourself in a way that would win five Academy Awards, but sooner or later the gig is up and people will find out that you actually have no idea what you’re doing?
That’s imposter syndrome. You tell yourself that you are just a really good actor because you are so good at convincing others that you know what you’re doing.
Imposter syndrome often stems from feelings of worth. We think to ourselves that if we can do something then anyone can do it. Therefore, if we are doing something that not everyone can do, it must be because we faked it really well.
Here’s the thing. You are not an imposter. You deserve to take up space wherever you are, and you bring to the table a unique skill set that not everyone has.
Here are some ways to challenge your feelings of being an imposter:
Notice the story you are telling yourself about your abilities. Ask, is this story true or does the evidence say differently?
Practice accepting compliments (in other words, instead of brushing them off, simply say “thank you”).
Make a list of your achievements and the things that you are good at. Doing this may feel awkward, but it reinforces a belief of worth. Remind yourself that you are just having a thought that you are a fraud, and thoughts are not facts.
Remember that it is okay to be proud of your accomplishments.
Generally, women tend to shrink themselves so that others can feel tall. Stop it. All this does is reinforce the narrative that you are not good enough. There is no maximum capacity for tall people in one space, so stand up proud and straighten your hard hat!
About the Author: Monica Pitek-Fugedi is a therapist, speaker, and author. As the owner of Whole Mind Wellness in Southeast Michigan, she specializes in providing treatment for anxiety and trauma. Monica uses her expertise at local and national speaking events to inspire audiences to conquer obstacles and embrace lives of empowerment. Her literary contributions encompass a wide range of topics, including “Shade of Pink,” which chronicles her breast cancer journey. Additionally, she has authored several self-help workbooks, such as “How to Live with Anxiety,” and “The Art of Showing Up: How to Live a Values-Driven Life.”