Leading with Connection in a Male-Dominated Industry
The Gender Gap in Leadership
Women make up only 10% of construction workers and less than 25% of infrastructure jobs. The numbers drop even further in leadership and C-suite roles. Despite this, research consistently shows that women often excel as leaders due to strengths in emotional intelligence, collaboration, and adaptability.
We lead with flexibility, adjust our communication based on who we're working with, and bring relational awareness that many traditional leadership models overlook.
Yet in male-dominated spaces, toxic behaviors from men are often dismissed as “normal” or “direct”—while similar behaviors from women get labeled as difficult, non-collaborative, or even aggressive. And often fired.
What Is “Leading with Connection”?
Leading with connection means guiding others through empathy, trust, and emotional intelligence—prioritizing people over power, and understanding over control.
It’s not about being “nice.” It’s about being intentional, accountable, and human-centered. It creates space for authentic conversations, defuses conflict, and encourages a culture where people feel seen and respected.
Why It Works—Especially When Managing Toxic Behavior
Toxicity often stems from insecurity, fear, or unmet needs. Instead of fueling the fire with judgment or confrontation, leading with connection invites collaboration, curiosity, and calm.
When you lead this way:
You uncover root causes without escalating tension.
You set boundaries that are respected—not resented.
You model values that shift team dynamics toward trust and shared accountability.
You create clarity about whether someone’s behavior is coachable or chronic.
Tools for Practicing Curiosity
Connection grows when we stop assuming and start asking. Try these techniques:
Probing: Simple responses like “Oh?” or “And then?” invite people to keep talking.
Open-ended questions: Starting with who, what, where, when, why, or how—encourage deeper conversation by avoiding yes/no answers that can stall dialogue.
Mirroring: Repeat the last few words they said as a question to show you’re listening.
Labeling: Use “It sounds like…” instead of “You said…” to reflect and clarify.
Admit what you don’t know: “I’m not familiar with that—can you help me understand?”
Encourage more: “I’m listening” or “Tell me more” keep the conversation flowing.
These strategies help the other person feel understood, which can reduce defensiveness and open the door to change.
The Payoff of Leading with Connection
You shift culture. Toxic energy can’t thrive when connection is the norm.
You strengthen teams. Trust makes accountability feel empowering, not punitive.
You build resilience. You create space for growth—both your own and others’.
You model leadership. Others begin to emulate the respect and presence you bring.
Final Thoughts
Leading with connection doesn’t mean being soft. It means being strong enough to lead with empathy, while staying grounded in boundaries, clarity, and impact. It’s how we build cultures where belonging is real—and where leadership is about more than performance. It’s about people.
About the Author: Valerie Vander Berg is a speaker, a coach, and a connection enthusiast with a serious love for mountain air. With a career built on relationship-driven roles—from real estate to sales strategy to group fitness—she now helps individuals and teams build lives rooted in authenticity, purpose, and real human connection. As a Master Certified Life Coach and keynote speaker, she empowers audiences to move from merely surviving to truly thriving.