The Inclusion Illusion: Moving from Fear to Fearless Advocacy

The cost of office housework and how to build a "long table" for women in construction.

In this tenth episode of Conversations with MOXY, host Natasha Ozybko speaks with Elaine Tadic, a consistent contributor to the MOXY platform throughout 2023. The discussion focuses on the psychological barriers to inclusion, the "illusion" of corporate diversity efforts, and the shift from fear-based silence to fearless advocacy in the infrastructure industry.

The Inclusion Illusion

Elaine Tadic, a "closet writer" who emerged as a powerful columnist for MOXY's FEMME Files, began her journey by questioning the effectiveness of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) boards. She introduces the concept of the "Inclusion Illusion", the false sense of security that occurs when a company has a diversity board that lacks actual "teeth" or authority. Tadic argues that while these boards exist on paper, the true responsibility for advocacy often falls on individual women to navigate a system that wasn't designed for them.

The Power of Shared Language

A central theme of the episode is the need to give men and women a shared language to discuss gender dynamics without fear. Tadic points out that many men in the industry are genuinely supportive but are "afraid to speak" because they don't know the right terminology or fear being indicted for an accidental misstep.

Tadic suggests that as women, there is a responsibility to:

Stop Indicting, Start Teaching: Provide allies with the language they need to be effective advocates.

Reframe the Table: Move away from the notion of a "round table" with limited seats and toward a "long table" that consistently adds chairs as more women enter the industry.

Avoid "Pearl Clutching": Soften the confrontational tone often associated with gender discussions to foster a safe environment for open dialogue with male colleagues.

Death by Paper Cuts

The conversation explores "Death by Paper Cuts", the small, repetitive daily tasks that accumulate to hinder a woman's career. Tadic and Ozybko discuss how women are frequently defaulted into "office housework," such as ordering lunch (doing administrative tasks even when it isn't their turn), note-taking (being the primary documentarian in meetings, which prevents them from fully participating in strategic critical thinking), and cleaning up (handling post-meeting cleanup while male colleagues continue to network).

Ozybko emphasizes that when leaders allow these patterns to continue, they are "actively subtracting" from an individual's ability to add value to the organization and harming the bottom line.

Merit vs. Labeling

Tadic advocates for a work environment where she is seen as a person first, rather than a woman first. She argues that while she is proud of her identity, her standing in the industry is based on her merit and the work she produces. She challenges the industry to move past demeaning labels such as "hormonal" or "aggressive" and instead focus on Emotional Intelligence (EQ) as the essential asset for future leadership.

Conclusion: Breaking the Cycle

Tadic concludes by urging both men and women to break the cycle of the status quo. She encourages women to say the "fearful thing out loud" with integrity and compassion, and for leaders to recognize that diversity is not a quota to be filled but a competitive necessity for the hundreds of thousands of jobs that will need filling over the next decade.